i didn’t do a single thing i was supposed to over break
i always think “if people want to talk to me they will” which is my reasoning for never really starting conversations so i’m permanently thinking no one wants to talk but what if they’re sat there thinking the same and it’s just this cycle of silence that never gets broken because i’m too stubborn to just put myself out there
employer: why should we hire you?
me: i got first place on Rainbow Road
employer: holy shit
let’s all take a minute to stop and think about how Hagrid gave Harry his homemade birthday cake, told him how much he looked like his parents, and fed him sausages before he even started to explain that he was a wizard
let’s stop to think about how his absolute first priority was to let harry know that he was loved and cared for
Benefits of big hips:
Laundry basket rest
Tiny human rest
Full size human rest
Hip checking those who challenge you
Ability to swing them wider than a cadillac
Model walk is 10x more dramatic
Taking up more space
Looking like a fertility goddess
*on death bed*
parents: honey please is there anything we can do???
me: yes. .„.,. , a final wish..„„ get me my ball , so i can dunk one final time
parents: *gets ball*
me: *is miraculously recovered*
me: wtf!!!!!!!!..„ , i guess ball really is life!!